SECRET WARS, by Jonathan Hickman [2015]

Secret Wars

R. Tim Morris’ Rating: 3/10

I guess I don’t really have much else to say but, “What the hell was the point of this?”
What was the point of getting me SO excited for an event if it wasn’t going to have any impact on anything? Other than culminating in one more *yawn* event and yet another Marvel reboot that will most likely last anywhere from 12-24 issues.
Why exactly did Marvel promote Secret Wars as something permanent, if the “permanence” was only ever meant for these 9 very sub-par issues? Furthermore, why stress this would be their way of streamlining the Marvel Universe, merging all universes into one, when in the end they’re just creating new alternate universes anyway?
What was the point of the Makers and the Builders and the Chimney Sweepers?
What was the point of the Cabal, really? They just whimpered away in the end.
What was the point of wiping out the Ultimate Universe (which I had no interest in anyway) but saving only one of its characters (Miles Morales)? (“Why? Because we like him!”)
Why have the Infinity Gauntlet show up so often and be whored-out to Black Panther, Captain America and probably Doctor Bong and the Whizzer if it never really accomplishes anything? Characters used to fear this thing, now it’s just a deux ex machina that never really works.
What was the point of making the Beyonders so powerful if they’re just going to bend over to Doctor Doom? He might have beaten one of them in 1984 but they probably should have seen this coming and planned a bit better.
Jonathan Hickman had me right from the start with New Avengers #1, but it’s obvious Marvel bigwigs muddled up some of his ideas with the idea of something that would sell. Seriously, the 70+ issue lead up to Secret Wars was one of the greatest, most epic Marvel story lines I’ve read! And then it culminates in THIS? It’s like taking my favorite Christmas present and stepping on it and shitting on it and chucking it at a puppy, not necessarily in that order.
I think Marvel Comics would work better if the whole company was just 10 creators in one room pumping out 5 or 6 solid books every month. But that’s just me.
I don’t know when I might be compelled to pick up a Marvel book next, but it certainly isn’t anytime in the near future. My reading has already taken a major dip and to be frank, my interest level is on life support right now. Because what’s the point of investing in any of this if nothing is ever A) consistent, B) permanent, C) compelling and D) inspiring?
And yes, I know that this is comic books and this is how it’s been for a long time now (20 years?), but there’s absolutely no reason for us to be complacent about it.
I’m gonna take this time to finally go back and binge-read some classic John Romita Amazing Spider-Man.

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